This blog is my testimony and my witness against my family.
There are only two feelings I get around my mom: disturbed or upset. I am consistently disturbed around her unless she’s provoking me to upset. Needless to say, I have never had a moment of bonding with her. She is cruel and abusive and LOVES gaslighting me. She savors my destruction.
Thanks to her, I’ve never bonded with anyone in my family. She is an obsessive alienator. She torments people for having any contact with me, especially if she suspects it was enjoyable or even that I presented myself well. For instance, she got set off when I went to my cousin’s funeral. It disturbs and upsets her fantasy life of me being this horrible person everyone rejects. It makes her crazy.
Reality makes my mom crazy. Therefore, she lives in a bubble of people who support her delusion. The cult.
I escaped the cult when I was 17 and started living. I literally visualize taking my first breath in college. Life was beautiful. Everything before that was darkened out, never to be revisited.
My mom has been hunting me ever since. I’ve never had a word for it, so I just kept it a secret. This obviously helped her with her sabotages.
And I’m sooo sick of her. She just wants me to die. It’s time for the world to know about her, the sick perverted version of a mother she is.